Marik Is Bored
by The Blonde Midget
Summary: Marik decides to play a little with his millennium rod, for his and the others entertainment of course. Doing what exactly? Well...one example Make Anzu unfriendly! Humour!


Toodely on you, my lovelies!

Ah, yes...another little story from me, myself and I! And it's humour! Pure, unadulterated humour! And, of course, a little fluffy romance...we all need that!

Well, here you have a summary! (This is the result of sugar-highs and too many hits to the head...--;)

Plot: Marik decides to play a little with his millennium rod, for his and the others entertainment of course. Doing what exactly? Well...one example; Make Anzu unfriendly! (Humour!)

Disclaimer: I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh...if I did, you'd have much more interesting episodes...less saving the world and more shonen-ai!

Pairings: Malik/Marik (sortof) Yami/Yugi, Bakura/Ryou, Seto/Jou and...well, no more!

Warnings: Slightly bad language...hints of naughty stuff and lots of crazy humour! Also, lots of Anzu bashing...

So? How's that? Well, I won't keep you back now; read the fic, and enjoy it! And if you feel extra happy; send me a review!

Chapter 1 In Domino Park 

**Normal POV**

"Malik, I'm bored..." Marik groaned, and turned over to his stomach on the grass.

Only at hearing that sentence, one should be worried. 'Cause, a bored Marik is never good. _Never. _

"Entertain me..." The blond Egyptian pouted adorably.

Or, well, he tried to pout adorably. All he managed was to look even more creepy than he already was.

Malik, who was playing absently with the Millennium Rod, sighed. "Sorry, Marik. I'm just as bored as you...there's just nothing fun to do here. If we try to fuck, that police guy will send us to jail. Again. And if we try to take over the world, Yami will send us to the Shadow Realm. Can't think of anything else to do." He rolled the rod between his fingers.

Marik sighed. "Baka pharaoh...he's always ruining our fun..."

The two crazy men sat in silence for a little while.

That was, until Malik got a wonderful idea.

The purple eyes lit up with a mad glint, and he flew up from the grass to stand in front of his crazy yami. "Marik! I have an idea!"

Marik blinked, and then rose too. "What?! Tell me, tell me, tell meeeeee..." He started to pull on his hikari's clothes in order to make him speak.

Proudly, Malik held out Millennium Rod so the sun reflected in it. "We are going to use this!"

One delicate eyebrow rose. "...hikari, I thought you said we couldn't take over the world today..."

A groan escaped Malik's throat and he shook his head in despair. "It is a shame that **I** got the stupid yami..."

"Hey, I resent that! I can be equally smart as that stuck up pharaoh if I wa- Hey, look, a shiny rock!" Marik bent down to retrieve the pretty, shiny rock that he just recently discovered.

But he didn't get the chance to. Malik kicked away the pretty rock, and glared at Marik. "Focus, Marik! As I was saying...we have the ultimate tool in our hands! The millennium rod! Remember when we used it to control people's minds?"

With a dreamy sigh, Marik nodded. "Yeah...good times, good times."

"Weeell..." Malik said, pulling out the word as long as he could. "How about that we do it again? For our own plain amusement!"

An evil and highly smug smirk appeared on the crazy Egyptian's lips. "Yes, that is a great plan, my light! The world shall lie beneath our feet! MWAHAHAHA!!!"

"YES, MWAHAHAHA!!!"

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

"...hey, Marik?"

"-HAHA, huh? Yes, Malik?"

"...how about getting started on our plan now?"

"Oh, right! Onwards!"

The two boys started to walk through the park, searching for victims to perform their evil schemes.

And, alas, only five minutes later, they found their first target.

"...and this is the song of friendship! Friendship, friendship, oh wonderful friendship! How we love- Oh, Hi Malik! Hi Marik! How are you this wonderful and friendly morning!?" The friendship rambler, also called Anzu, chirped and waved in a friendly way. Blue eyes shining with stupidity, and brown hair sticking to her ugly, ugly, icky face, she looked absolutely hideous.

But, Malik still managed to send her a gigantic smile.

"Hi, Anzu!" Malik chirped back.

Marik merely hissed and showed his fangs.

After elbowing his yami's side, Malik gave a large and sunny smile towards Anzu. "You know, Anzu, I have something that I want to show you!"

Anzu's eyes lit up. "Has it got to do with friendship?"

"...err...yeeaah, sure...well, wanna see it?!"

Star-eyed, Anzu nodded.

Which soon proved to be a big mistake.

Malik quickly rose the Millennium Rod towards her. "Take _that_ you evil, friendship loving...thing!" The golden eye on the rod glowed dangerously as the magic progressed through it. Soon, the glow died out again, and indicated that the spell was fulfilled.

For a few seconds, Anzu merely blinked stupidly. Then a scowl entered her face.

"You fucking idiot! I hate you! You're ugly! And your hair is even uglier! God, I HATE THIS WHOLE GODDAMNED WORLD!"

With that, Anzu stomped passed them, rudely knocking Marik to the ground when she passed.

"Ouch! Malik, that bitch pushed me!" Tears entered Marik's purple eyes. "...a-and my leather pants got dirty..."

Malik, however, was too busy laughing to care about his lover's problems. "Oh, my RA! D-Did you see that, Marik! Anzu was...was...unfriendly!" And he started to laugh even harder. Soon, Marik started to laugh too, rolling around on the grass.

Meantime under the ground, the Devil got a sudden shock...

"What the- It's **_snowing!_** Either Anzu has got unfriendly, or the Germans doesn't love David Hasselhoff anymore!"

A few yards away(over hell's chambers), Yami and Yugi was calmly strolling around in the park together. It was their usual walk they did every day in the weekends, a walk that always was a calm and talkative one.

However, Yami was more listening to Yugi's voice itself than what he said. It was beautiful to his ears, and always made him smile. Though, Yugi was oblivious to the attention he was getting; he was far too innocent to understand that Yami had a crush on him.

Today was not different; It was calm, and Yugi talked happily, and Yami looked at Yugi, smiling like the love-struck fool he indeed was.

Though, the calm walk was interrupted by loud and angry snorts ahead of them. The two boys looked up to see what that caused the snorts that were interrupting their blissful walk.

Anzu was stomping towards them, glaring daggers at everything around her, muttering things like 'stupid sunshine', and 'stupid fluffy bunnies everywhere...burn in hell!'.

Yugi smiled widely, and waved to Anzu. "Oh, hello, Anzu! What a wonderful day, ne?"

Stopping dead in her tracks three yards ahead, Anzu slowly turned her head to look at Yugi. The blue eyes glowed with anger and annoyance.

"Wonderful?!" Anzu hissed to him, glaring daggers at our poor midget. "How can you call it wonderful, or anything remotely like it?! The sun is shiny, the birds are twittering and everything is so fucking peachy!"

"...um...Anzu? Are you okay?" Yugi asked timidly, looking more confused than ever.

"..." Yami simply stared.

"OH, JUST BURN IN HELL!" Anzu roared, and continued onwards on the path, scowling and growling at the poor, adorable squirrels that were innocently carrying around their nuts.

...not _those _nuts, you perverts!

"Yami, do you have any idea what was wrong with Anzu?" Yugi asked slowly, turning his gaze to his darker half. The innocent, violet eyes shone with worry.

Thoughtfully, Yami frowned and put a finger at his chin. "Well...either Anzu is on PMS...or... there's shadow magic involved!" Yami gasped at his own revelation. "I can bet my neck-belt that Marik and Malik has something to do with this!"

Yugi rose one eyebrow. "Why them? Is it a stomach feeling or something?"

"Well, partly. That the two of them are standing over there laughing sadistically is another clue..."

"Ah...should we..."

"Yes. We should." With that, Yami and Yugi walked towards the two laughing boys.

Malik was the first one to recover from their laughing fit "W-Well, Marik...who should be our next victim?"

Marik shrugged, and dried away a few tears. "I don't know...maybe..."

"Ahem."

The two blonds looked up from their point of view on the ground.

Standing about one yard away, arms crossed and a serious expression on his features, was Yami. Scowling, he spoke. "Well, hello, you two. What are you up to now? I thought that I said that you could not take over the world. Or create any schemes in order to do so later."

At once, Marik started to make an excuse. "Oh, hello, Yami! Oh no, we're not creating any schemes! Not at all! But, if we were, I'd let you in on it! Totally! Because there'll never be any lord mightier than our great pharaoh-" And so he went on with trying to kiss Yami's ass.

With words.

Not literally.

Although, being the pervert he is, he probably would like to.

Kiss Yami's ass literally, that is.

Malik, however, got a very evil look in his eyes. A new idea had reached him. One even greater than making Anzu unfriendly.

The pale, violet eyes turned to the innocent looking Yugi by Yami's side. "Oh, Yugi? Can

you come over here for a second? I wanna show you something..."

Yami, tired of Marik's ass kissing, interrupted him. "Never mind, Marik. As long as you're not trying to take over the world, I'm fine. Now, me and my hikari shall continue our park-stroll." He turned around to look at Yugi.

Who stood only one foot away from him, with a weird and glazed look in his eyes.

"Yugi?" Yami said uncertainly, when Yugi started to lick his lips in a very un-Yugi-ish way. "Are you...alright?"

A mischievous smirk spread over Yugi's lips as he wrapped his arms around Yami's neck in a slow and leisure manner. "Oh, of course, Yami...why wouldn't I be alright, while being in your...strong and warm arms?" Yugi purred. The normally innocent violet eyes sparkled in a way Yami had never seen before. They were darker, more hypnotic, deep...

Yami swallowed.

...hungry and lusty.

"Err...Y-Yugi?" Yami stuttered, suddenly quite scared. He had never seen Yugi like that. Ever. And it unnerved him. "W-What are you doing?"

Yugi smirked, and pulled Yami down towards him. "Nothing. Am I doing anything, Yami? Something...bad?" The large, shimmery eyes got a innocent look again. "I mean...I would never dream of being bad...Yami-kun." The pharaoh's name was spoken huskily and seducing.

Blushing, Yami pulled away quickly. "N-No, you haven't done anything bad...no, wrong, I mean _wrong_ But why are you acting so..." A suspicion entered Yami's mind like a lightning bolt, and he quickly turned around to glare heatedly at the two grinning blondes behind him.

"Alright, what have you two done to my hikari?!"

Malik giggled. "Oh, just played a little with his mind. I wouldn't be so worried Yami...I'm sure you'll enjoy it." The Egyptian winked suggestively. Malik had known for quite a time how Yami felt for his hikari. So, he both had fun and helped out! (And yes, Malik could help. Occasionally. On even weekends.)

Yami's eyes darkened angrily. "I don't care about that! That's not my hikari! I want you to change him back, right this mo-oOY!" With a bright blush, Yami tensed his entire back so it was straight as an arrow. "Y-Yugi...is that your hand?"

"Maybe..." The boy purred behind him.

"Gu-Get that hand of my ass, please aibou?" Yami stuttered out.

"Oh, okay!" The hand disappeared, and Yami visibly relaxed. Then he tensed again when the hand, and it's partner, came back around his waist. He could feel Yugi's body flush against his own from behind.

...which wasn't a very unpleasant feeling, actually.

"Yami, I wanna go home and...play a little. Would you like to play with me?" The two hands played with Yami's shirt buttons.

Eyes widening, Yami quickly pulled away from Yugi's touches, no matter how much his body and mind protested. "Yugi, stop that! You're not yourself...Malik, change him back! Change him back right n-" Before Yami could end that sentence, Yugi interrupted him.

By kissing him forcefully on the mouth.

"..." Yami's eyes widened again, and then fell shut. Protests and moral questions disappeared in the blink of an eye as he kissed Yugi back with all the passion he could muster.

Malik giggled when the two boys pulled away. "So...you were saying?"

"...I'll talk to you guys later." Yami said quickly, lifted Yugi up on his shoulder and ran off. No doubt heading home to, as Yugi had said, play. Play games /far/ beyond R-Rated.

You get my point.

After watching the path were Yugi and Yami had walked off for a while, Malik smirked and punched the air. "Success! I, the mighty Malik, has on my own,-"

"Ahem." Marik said from beside him, and glared.

"Huh? Oh, right, sorry love. I, the mighty Malik, with my side-kick, Marik, has managed to corrupt yet another innocent mind! Now, what shall we do next?! Who shall be our next victim, on our quest of insanity and humour?!"

"Hi, guys!" A soft and innocent voice called behind them.

Malik and Marik looked at each other, and grinned identically. Perfect. They turned around at the same time, and waved. "Hi, Ryou! Hi, Bakura!"

Ah yes. It was indeed the two white haired boys who walked up towards them.

Ryou smiled sweetly, and waved slightly as he walked. Hands folded behind his back innocently, and his brown eyes shining joyfully, he looked like the perfect image of innocence and beauty. Flipping his long, soft hair back, Ryou sat down next to Malik. "Well, how are you two doing?"

Bakura, who had been only a few steps behind, also sat down. Although, he sat down next to Ryou, attentively glancing at him. His brown eyes wasn't shining with innocence, or joy however. No, they shone with longing as he gazed upon the heavenly creature next to him.

The angelic Ryou.

Malik, noticing Bakura's look, smirked. More fun time for him and the rod...all he needed was a bit of distraction.

And there, Marik came into the picture.

//_Marik, get Ryou over to the ice-cream stand over there.// _

_((But...why?)) _

_//...because I want ice-cream. Now, shoo.// _

_((...why did **I** get the bossy hikari?!)) _

Marik, glaring at Malik, grabbed Ryou's arm and declared loudly; "Come on, Ryou-chan, lets go and buy some ice-cream!"

"Oh...but, I..." Ryou began, before getting dragged away by the angry yami, who was muttering curses under his lavender smelling breath.

Malik smirked, and slowly turned to Bakura. "Well then...hello, Bakura." 

Bakura eyed him suspiciously. And rightfully so. The crazy grin on Malik's face would make anyone worried. And so would the look of pure evilness in his eyes. It wasn't hard to guess that he was up to something that he shouldn't. And this made Bakura worried. (Why hadn't Malik asked him to join?!)

Bakura shifted slightly as Malik's grin became more wicked.

"...what are you doing, you crazy-"

"Millennium Rod! Activate!" Malik cried out, and pointed it at Bakura. The golden rod glowed, and started to throw sparkles.

Bakura's eyes turned, first empty, and then filled with emotions; Love, devotion and lots and lots of fluff. Angel song started to sound around him, and he clutched his hands together, blinking several times with shining eyes.

"By Ra! I must run over to Ryou and declare my undying love for him! Right now!" And Bakura rose to run off and find Ryou.

Who only stood a few yards away, slowly licking away on his strawberry ice-cream, watching Bakura with a risen eyebrow.

"Ryou!" Bakura cried out, and stopped before Ryou to stare at him with awe in his eyes.

In Bakura's vision: Ryou's beautiful, brown eyes shone towards him. His long, wavy, white hair danced in a gentle breeze, and his pale, porcelain skin seemed to glow in the sun with an adorable blush. Shiny stars appeared around Ryou, and made him seem angelic and divine.

If one had looked closer, they would have seen little hearts in Bakura's eyes.

If one had looked not so much closer, they would have seen drool run down Bakura's chin to gather in a puddle by his feet.

The white haired boy blinked, and stared at Bakura. Suspicions of Bakura being either drugged, abducted by aliens and replaced with a crazy copy, or landing on his head far too many times, reached Ryou as he took a step backwards. "Err...Bakura, what are you doing? Are you feeling alri-"

Before Ryou could end the sentence, Bakura fell on his knees before him and took his free hand. "Ryou, my light, Ryou, my Angel...I need to tell you how much I love and admire you! There is no words to fully describe my feelings, and there's no time enough in this world to explain it all! So, I'll just say this; I love you, my light, with all of my heart, and what's left of my corrupted soul!" Bakura smiled widely, and stared up at Ryou.

Who only stared back with open mouth and wide eyes.

For five whole minutes, Ryou did not blink.

And nor did Bakura.

After one more minute, Ryou closed his eyes and smiled. A small blush adorned his cheeks, and made him seem even more beautiful. "I...I don't know what to say, Bakura...I..."

Malik giggled, and decided to have some more fun. He lifted the rod and then released Bakura from the spell.

The brown eyed boy blinked.

Then his eyes widened fearfully.

"Oh, fuck!"

The former tomb robber flew up from the ground and released Ryou's hand.

"I-I didn't mean that! I didn't mean any of it! I take it back! All of it! I don't love you! At all! On the contrary! I really, really un-love you! And...and...YEAH!" Bakura panted after the outburst and waited for Ryou's reaction.

Ryou stared at Bakura with wide eyes. Then the beautiful brown eyes filled with tears and hurt.

**-SLAP!- **

Ryou had just slapped Bakura. Hard. Harder than one would have thought possible for such a small and innocent boy.

"OW!" Bakura screamed, and stared at his hikari. Disbelief was to be seen in his eyes, and lots of 'what-the-hell-did-you-just-do'-ness. "Ryou, why did ya hit _me_?! It was Malik and his rod's fault! Hit _him!_"

Ryou did not seem to blame Malik (or his rod) for what just had happened. The chocolate eyes were filled with tears, and Ryou glared at Bakura with all his might. "Bakura, you must be the biggest bastard to ever walk this earth!"

Filled with anger, Ryou took his ice-cream and threw it into Bakura's face with a soundly splash. Then he stomped off in the opposite direction.

Left behind was a confused Bakura with a slap mark on his face, and an ice-cream cone stuck on his forehead, ice-cream dripping down his face.

For a moment, Bakura was stunned. Then everything clicked, and his eyes widened.

"...hey, Ryou, wait for me!" He yelled, and ran after his hikari.

Malik glanced at Marik.

Marik glanced at Malik.

The squirrels glanced at their nuts.

Alas, the nuts did not glance back.

Then, the two blonds started laughing so hard that they fell over. Echoes of their crazy and masochistic laughter rung through the whole park, and mothers held their children's ears to save them from being robbed of their innocence.

"Ooh, my God, my stomach!" Malik cried, helplessly rolling on the ground and shaking with laughter.

"Ooh, my Ra, my sides!" Marik cried, a pitch higher than his normal voice, and then shrieked with laughter.

'Ooh, my whatever-squirrels-worship, our nuts!', the squirrels squeaked from their trees, also laughing. Err...as far as a squirrel can laugh, I suppose.

"That was the best one yet!" Malik said, after the worst laughter had stilled, and sat up, drying the tears off his tanned cheeks.

"U-Uhu!" Marik agreed, and also sat up. Then he frowned a little. "Wait...wasn't that a little mean to Bakura?"

"...your point?"

"...I...don't know really...I'm just a little concerned about his feelings..."

Malik's eyebrow twitched. "...Marik? ..._'concerned about his feelings?'_"

"...OH MY GOD; I'M TURNING INTO A GOOD GUY!" Marik broke down in tears in the realisation.

He, the well-known, murderous and fearsome Marik, was no longer evil! He would never be looked upon in the same way! All thieves and evil people that he knew would reject him! Tainted! He was tainted with niceness and goody-two-shoe-ness!

He'd have to get a...a...JOB!

As a mailman!

Or a nurse!

People would laugh at him!

...RA; KIDS WOULD HUG HIM!

Malik rose one eyebrow. "Marik, you scare little kids for fun. You kill people. You tried to take over the world seventy-six times..."

"Actually, it was seventy-five times, my hikari...SEE?! I'M TURNING SOFT!"

"...you kidnapped Mokuba, you turned several people mad and took over their minds with the Millennium Rod, and you tried to actually _destroy_ the whole world. Not to mention that you

rip heads of puppies and kittens for amusement. How can you possibly call yourself good?" Malik sighed tiredly. "And how could I decide to date such a maniac?"

"Because you are one too?" Marik suggested, cocking his head to the side.

"...you have a point, my dark."

"Don't I always."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...so, what do we do next?" Marik asked after a while of silent musing.

"Hm...we must find a new victim...but whom?" Malik looked around himself, and tried to find someone to corrupt. It now was like an obsession. They couldn't stop now. The game was too much fun.

Alas, the lavender eyes found their target.

Strolling on one of the many paths of the park, came Ryuji Otogi. The raven haired man was listening to his mp3, and spun one strand of his long and beautiful hair around one of his slender fingers. Humming almost silently, he seemed quite pleased with life.

Of course, Malik could not resist the urge to destroy the other man's life a little.

With a smirk, and a nudge at his yami to make him look, he rose the rod. It instantly shone, and sent out a small lightning in the direction of Ryuji. The lightning quickly made it's way through the air, and hit Ryuji in the side of his head, and entered his...err...brain?

Ryuji stopped dead in his tracks. "Whoa...I just got a sudden urge to do something..." He muttered, and rubbed the back of his head. "...I must go and cut off all of my hair!"

With that sudden outburst, Ryuji turned around and ran back on the path, probably on his way to the closest hairstylist.

"...wow..." Was all that Marik could manage. Wonder and awe was the clearest thing that you could see in his eyes. And, of course, slight(...)madness. As always. No surprise there.

"...if we can do that, we can take over the world..." Malik whispered, staring at the Rod with admiration. "...or do anything else we want..."

"...is there anything else we want to do, Malik?"

Before Malik could answer that very hard question('cause, really; is there anything else those two would like to do?), a voice reached their ears from not too far away.

"...an' for the last time, moneybags; I'm no dog, damnit!" No one could mistake on that accent. Indeed, it was Katsuya Jounouchi, or Jou, that had spoken those very well chosen words.

Another voice, cold and unemotional, followed.

"Yes, you are. An uncombed, filthy, flee infested, poor and rabies diseased one." One could almost hear the smirk in the voice.

...how a voice can smirk, I do not know. And I'm not sure that I want to know either.

Malik and Marik just took one look on each other. Then they sported identical grins, and jumped up to hide in a pair of bushes by the path where the voices came from.

On the path walked Seto Kaiba and Jou, side by side.

Or, well, Jou was more walking in front of Seto, trying to get away from his insults, and Seto walked behind the blond, smirking like the smirking-ish bastard that he was.

Jou turned around and glared heatedly at the brunet. "Oh yeah?! I dare ya to say that again, you bastard!" Hands closed to fists, Jou almost looked dangerous. If it hadn't been for that he was shorter than Seto, and that he looked so cute when he was angry. Poor, poor Jou.

Seto rose one of his perfect eyebrows. "Why? Didn't you hear me? And I thought that dogs had a good sense of hearing."

Jou's eyes flared and he took one step closer to the CEO. "Okay, tha's _it_, Kaiba! I'm gonna..."

Malik rose the Rod and mumbled a spell.

The angry expression in Jou's face changed at once. His eyes softened, filled with love and admiration, and he gave a soft and love-struck smile. "...I'm gonna kiss you."

Malik and Marik giggled.

Seto's eyes widened in shock. "...e...excuse me?" For the first time in world history, Seto Kaiba could not come up with a poisonous answer.

In one second flat, Jou stood with his arms around Seto's neck, and smiled up to him in a very sweet manner. "I just haven't noticed how beautiful you are...until now..." Jou whispered, and blinked cutely. "And I've never understood that...all those times my heart has beaten faster when I see you...it hasn't been anger. It has been something else..." Jou gave a soft sigh, filled with emotion.

Seto stared at the blond. "...J-Jou? What the hell are you talking about?" Being too shocked, the CEO did not push Jou off him. He simply stared a little more.

Jou leaned closer to Seto, and blushed slightly. "I...I love you, Seto Kaiba..." He mumbled. Before the brunet could say or do anything, Jou leaned in the rest of the way, and kissed Seto on the mouth, in a soft, sweet, caring, warm and all that mushy-gushy stuff, kiss.

The two blond Egyptians tried to muffle their laughter behind their bush upon seeing the look of complete and utter shock in Seto's eyes.

Their laughter got stuck in their throats though when Seto wrapped his arms around Jou's waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. Soon, the brunet was dominating the kiss, and Jou was left whimpering in his arms.

Marik looked at Malik. "...Malik...what just happened here? Isn't he supposed to, like, push Jou away and tell him off? And then smirk and laugh when Jou cries his heart out?"

"...well, yeah! That was my plan!"

Marik sighed. "Why doesn't our evil schemes work anymore?"

The two teens continued to watch the make-out session quietly.

Then, Marik got a great(...)idea. "Hey! Lift the spell on Jou, and _he'll_ push Kaiba away, wondering what the hell the guy's doing! Then Kaiba will become even more anti-social, and depressive!"

A look of appreciation entered Malik's eyes. "That is a great idea, my dark! Oh, how I love your evil mind!"

"Don't we all?" Marik chirped while Malik rose the Rod and mumbled another spell.

The scene didn't change at all. Jou's arms were still tight around Seto's neck, and he was whimpering even more, seeing that Seto's hands had wandered off from his waist further down his lithe body. Slender fingers just intervened themselves in chestnut locks, and the kiss went on.

"...Malik, you can lift the spell now." Marik said, and glanced at his hikari.

Malik stared at the scene with wide eyes. His mouth was hanging open, and his left eyebrow twitched.

"...I already have."

"..._ooh_..."

"Yeah..."

"..."

"..."

"...Kaiba has got some good lungs, I must say."

Just as Marik made that statement, the two teens pulled away. The two stared each other in the eye, not saying a word, panting heavily. After a few moments, Seto opened his mouth.

"My place?" Came the smug question.

Jou nodded, blushing furiously. "O-Okay..." Before Jou could say anything more, Seto grabbed his hand and dragged him down the path, smirking predatorily.

Silence rested over Malik and Marik for a moment.

"...well...that was unexpected."

"Indeed."

"..."

"..."

"...wanna go kill the squirrels over there?"

"After you, Marik. After you."

While the two boys walked towards the trees with the poor, soon-to-be-dead squirrels, all the spells that Malik had cast lifted.

------

Anzu's house 

Anzu sat by her desk at home, tearing up all the poems and songs and all other things she had ever written about friendship. She already had painted over her giant wall-painting of friendship with black and replaced it with the words 'Save the world; 'Kill friendship'.

"Stupid friendship...stupid sunshine and rainbows and stupid, stupid world with all it's perkiness!" Anzu muttered to the papers she tore apart, and glared at the pieces. "I will always hate you! DIE FRIENDSHIP!" With an angry scowl, she threw a burning match on the pieces in her garbage can.

Jumping around like mad, singing about the murder of friendship she had just committed, a flash suddenly flew out through Anzu's left ear, and disappeared in thin air.

For a second, Anzu's face did not change.

"F...Friendship?" She whispered, staring at the black wall, and the many paper-pieces. At realising what had happened Anzu's blue eyes filled with tears and anguish.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Mouto household 

Yami stared at the ceiling, still breathing hard after the heated session he and Yugi just had experienced. His ruby eyes was clouded with fatigue, and a satisfied smile played on his lips.

Yugi laid, curled up against his yami, and smiled too. Or, well. It was more a playful and lusty smirk. With a satisfied smirk, Yugi snuggled against Yami's naked chest. "So...how did you like that, my pharaoh?" Instead of Yugi's normal innocent and sweet voice, there was a sexy purr that Yami never had heard from his hikari's mouth.

With a sigh, Yami wrapped one arm around Yugi's shoulders and pulled him closer. "It was perfect, my love..." He muttered, and then paused. Of course, it had been good...but it would have been better if it had been the real Yugi.

The normal Yugi probably wouldn't have been so rough.

With a smirk, Yugi opened his mouth to say something more.

It was then the playful and lusty expression disappeared to be replaced by the normal and innocent one. First, the violet orbs shone with confusion after wandering over Yami's naked chest. Upon remembering what just had happened, Yugi's eyes widened. "Oh!...u-um...Yami?"

"Yes, love?" Yami muttered, and kissed his neck.

Yugi blushed. "...I think we've might have been fooled by Malik...uh...um...h-he used the Rod on me, right?"

Yami immediately pulled back upon hearing that same old innocent voice he had been used to. "Y-Yu-Yugi?! Y-You're...err...yourself? A-Aren't you?"

"...I suppose..." Yugi whispered, eyes suddenly nervous. "Y-Yami, I..."

"OH RA, I AM SO SORRY, YUGI!" Yami screamed, and hugged Yugi tightly around the waist. Tears almost ran down Yami's cheeks, and he seemed very ashamed. "I shouldn't have done those foul things to you!"

"Yami..." Yugi tried, but was interrupted by his hysterical yami.

"I should have forced those two to make you normal again at once!"

"Yami-"

"I shouldn't have let it go that far...CURSE MY WEAKNESS FOR THE MORTAL FEELING OF LUST!"

"Yami-"

"...a-and...t-this was your first time, and..."

"YAMI, GOD DAMNIT; LISTEN!" Yugi suddenly screamed, and panted heavily.

"...a-aibou?" Yami stuttered, his eyes wide.

"Listen, Yami." Yugi said again, this time much softer. "I'm fine...I mean, i-it wasn't bad..." Yugi blushed. "...a-and I...I had hoped...that it would have happened earlier...I just...wasn't brave enough to...you know...take the initiative." After pausing for a second, Yugi spoke gently. "B-Because...I love you, Yami..." Then, Yugi waited for how Yami would react.

It wasn't much of a reaction, actually.

Yami just stared at his hikari. If his eyes had gotten any wider, they probably would have fallen out of their sockets. And that would not have been very pleasant. For any of us. Thus, the eyeballs remained socketed.

"Y-Yami?" Yugi said worriedly. "Are you oka-"

Yami pounced on Yugi and started kissing him like there was no tomorrow.

"I love you more, Yugi." Came a husky whisper into Yugi's ear. After that, words became useless.

Ryou's House 

"Oh, come on, hikari! Let me in!" Bakura screamed, banging on Ryou's bedroom door. He had already done that for over fifteen minutes, and his hand had started to ache. Stupid hikari, not opening the door... "Ryou! Damn you, open the door!"

"Why?" Came Ryou's soft voice, now hoarse from crying. "S-So you c-c-can tell me how much you don't lo-love me? I don't thi-think so!" If Ryou had been able to, he would have slammed the door in Bakura's face again, being so angry and hurt.

"...Ryou, come on! It wasn't _that_ bad! And, it was Malik's fault! He put the spell on me in the first place!" Argued Bakura, and glared at the offending door that both blocked his way, and hurt his hand.

Stupid door.

It should be sent to the Shadow Realm.

Too bad that he promised Ryou not to send anything to the Shadow Realm again.

Stupid hikari.

A sharp sob could be heard from Ryou's side of the door. "What? He told you to say that you didn't love me?!"

"Well...no, but...he made me say that I love you! I was supposed to say that by myself, not under some stupid spell!" Bakura barked. "I wanted to tell you that I love you while being

alone, and then have mind-blowing sex with you to seal our bonds of love!"

It took Bakura about five seconds to understand what he just had said.

Then he turned an awful shade of green.

It was silent for a moment from Ryou's room. Then, soft footsteps walked towards the door. The lock clicked and the door was slowly opened. Ryou, blushing slightly, looked up into the dark eyes of Bakura. "Y...You mean that, Bakura? You...you love me?"

Tongue suddenly being paralysed, Bakura could only give a sort of strangled noise, and nod his head forcefully up and down.

Ryou's whole face lit up, and a smile bright as the sun erupted on his face. "Aw, Bakura!" He squealed, and jumped onto Bakura, latching his arms around his neck and laughing. "I-I love you too, 'Kura! I love you so, so, so much!"

"..." Bakura stared at the top of Ryou's head.

A feral grin took over Bakura's face.

The next second, he took Ryou into his arms and swung him down so his head almost touched the ground. (You know, one of those position you sometimes end up in doing the tango. Where you always drop the other person.) Ryou squeaked in shock, and blushed when Bakura leaned a bit closer, still with that grin on his lips.

"I knew that." He said smugly. With that, he captured Ryou's lips in a heated, passionate, rough, sensual, breath-stealing, heads-over-heals kiss.

And the rest of the day and night was spent with mind-blowing sex.

-----------

Kaiba mansion 

"Ooooh, dear GOD! SETO!"

"Uh...pup...so damn _tight!_"

"Harder! Uhn...ah! Ooh...please, Seto!

"I'm trying! By GOD; I'M TRYING!"

...err...l-lets return a bit later...O.o

Otogi's house 

"Hm...funny feeling..." Otogi mumbled, walking towards his mirror. "My head feels so light...and my scalp feels cold...and breezy..." The blackhaired youth reached his mirror, and looked up into it.

And stared.

And stared.

And stared a little more just to make sure he had been correct in what he just had seen.

"...OH, DEAR GOD! MY HAIR! MY BEAUTIFUL VIRGIN HAIR!"

Kaiba mansion 

Lets peek in once more...they should be done by now...

"Seto! AH! Seto! D-Don't stop, don't stop, _don't ever stop!"_

"What the hell would make you think I would?! Oh, dear God in heaven...Katsuya!"

...oh, damn it. I give up. I'll just summarise what you all know will happen at this place.

First of all, Seto and Jou would screw each other like bunnies until deep into the night. Then the two will curl up together, and snuggle in the afterglow. After that they would tell each other how much they love each other, admire one and other, yadayada, so on and so forth, until they fall asleep in each others' arms.

The next morning they would be woken by Mokuba, who would forever be scarred by the sight of Seto's naked body. And he'd probably start cutting just for the sake of being depressed, and finally end up in hospital, both Jou and Seto telling him how much they love him, and then Mokuba would marry a nurse called Betty...

...err...maybe not exactly like that...you get my point.

------

The morale in this story?

A bored Marik is never good.

A bored Marik with a hikari capable of performing dark magic to manipulate poor people's minds is worse.

Actually, it could only get worse if you add pink pandas with plans of taking over the world.

Solution?

Keep Marik and Malik entertained. At all cost. Even if some squirrels, puppies and kittens will have to give their lives for it.

**End!**

...-cough-

...well, this must be the most random story I've ever cooked up...

Yeah...you perhaps think that I ought to write more on Old Love, seeing that so many are waiting for it's update...but...well...I just needed to write something like this. You know, just to empty my head and make me want to write. (cause, I tell you, I had so much fun writing this! )

Okay...I guess I'll see you all soon again! Please review, and tell me what you thought! (also, I would be happy to hear which that was your favourite part...please?)

Oh, and before I forget...no squirrels, puppies or kittens were injured in the making of this story! And, neither was Ryuji's hair.

Marik: ...-munches on squirrel's tails- ...oops? –glances at the tail in his mouth before chewing on-

...eerr...okay, so maybe a few squirrels was hurt...and one of Ryuji's hairs were split... nevermind that! Just review people! Chocolate for all of you!

-The Blonde Midget! 


End file.
